This is a crime called sextortion. It is happening to you — you have not done anything wrong, and you are not the first. It happens to men and boys far more often than anyone talks about. There are things you can do right now, and they work.
Do this now
- Do not pay. Paying does not end it. It tells them you will pay, and the demands continue — often for more. This is the single most important thing on this page.
- Screenshot everything before you block them. Their profile, the username, the whole conversation, and anything about payment. The instinct is to delete it all and never think about it again — but that destroys the evidence, and you may want it. Save it somewhere you don't have to look at.
- Then stop replying, and block them. Not before you have the screenshots. After that, say nothing more — no arguing, no explaining, no final message.
- Make your accounts private. Their threat depends on reaching the people who matter to you. Setting your profiles to private and tightening who can see your followers takes minutes and takes away most of their leverage.
- Stop the photos being posted at all — see below. You can do this even though nothing has been shared yet, and it is the closest thing to taking the threat away from them.
- Report it. Details are at the bottom. You will not be in trouble.
You can block the photos before they are ever posted
Most people don't know this part. If you still have the images you sent, you can turn them into a digital fingerprint on your own phone — the pictures themselves are never uploaded anywhere and nobody, including us, ever sees them.
That fingerprint is shared with the big platforms. If whoever is threatening you later tries to post those images to Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, Reddit, Snapchat, OnlyFans or Pornhub, they are blocked automatically. You do not have to wait for something to happen and then chase it.
- If you are 18 or over — StopNCII.org. It is free, it is run by the Revenge Porn Helpline, and it works for men.
- If you are under 18 — Take It Down (NCMEC). Same idea, and it is built for you.
Why not paying is the right call
Almost all of this is done by organised criminal groups, usually overseas, working through a great many people at once. It is a business, and it runs on speed and volume. Someone who pays becomes a customer and gets asked again. Someone who goes quiet stops being worth their time.
Many people find that once they stopped responding, nothing happened at all. That is not a promise — and if they do post something, that is their crime and not your failure. But paying reliably makes things worse, and stopping contact is what most often ends it.
If you are under 18
Tell an adult you trust, and report it. You are the victim of a crime and you are not going to be in trouble — not with the police, and not for having sent anything. This is treated far more seriously in law precisely because you are the one being harmed.
- UK — report.iwf.org.uk, or Childline on 0800 1111, free and confidential at any hour.
- US — NCMEC CyberTipline and Take It Down.
This happens to men. Constantly.
Of the sextortion cases reported to the UK's Revenge Porn Helpline, 92% were men. Of those reported to NCMEC in the US, 90% were teenage boys. It is most common between 14 and 30.
It is written to make you feel singled out and ashamed, because shame is what stops people telling anyone. It is not a reflection of you, it is the method. The people on the phones at the helplines below have heard this exact story many times this week.
Where to get help
These are established organisations, independent of us. You do not need us to use any of them, and we would rather you went to them first.
- Revenge Porn Helpline (UK) — free and confidential, for adults, and most of the people they help with this are men.
- UK police — call 101, or report online at reportfraud.police.uk. In immediate danger, call 999.
- US — the FBI at tips.fbi.gov or 1-800-CALL-FBI, and the CCRI Crisis Helpline on 1-844-878-2274.
- Victim Support (UK) — practical and emotional support, whether or not you go to the police.
- Report the account to the app it happened on — Instagram, Snapchat, WhatsApp and the rest all have a route for this, and they close these accounts.
If you are struggling to cope
This crime is designed to make people feel there is no way out. There is, and it passes. If tonight feels unbearable, talk to someone now — Samaritans on 116 123 (UK, free, any time, day or night), or 988 (US Suicide & Crisis Lifeline). You can tell them exactly what has happened. They will not judge you and they have heard it before.
What we can and cannot do
- If nothing has been posted, there is nothing to take down — and that is good news. The threat is their whole leverage. Fingerprinting your images, above, is what stops it being carried out.
- If images of you have been posted to a website, that we can help with. It is what we do, and it makes no difference to us who you are. Tell us on the main page — just the web address is enough.
- We never download, store or look at anyone's images, and we will never ask you for one. Please don't send us any.
- We will never charge you. Anyone who demands money to remove images is committing the same crime again — do not pay them either.